Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
