a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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