I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
