she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
