And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
