...so i touched it.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
