Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
