my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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