I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
