I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize