why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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