Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
