It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
