she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
