adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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