worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I need a beard to bite.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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