the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
