I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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