I look better un-naked...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He better not be in your backpack
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
