Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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