did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
