oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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