is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
