Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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