We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
