YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
