I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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