I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize