trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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