so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
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I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
drinking out of a sandbucket again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
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Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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