I bet he comes in French.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
