So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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