I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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