It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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