The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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