im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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