the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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