i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
