How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That accounts for only three of the penises
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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