She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
