You really coming over, don't trick.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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