now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
