My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize