Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
