Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
