he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
