She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
