sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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