My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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