And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize