if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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