be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
