Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
