Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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