Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
